I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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