I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
