What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
