i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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