In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
