So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
