Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize