Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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