Whod you bang
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
