I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
