Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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