This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
