so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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