At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
