ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
