So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
