I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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