he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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