You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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