The maid of honor just puked.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
