I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
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Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
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We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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