apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
