She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
