I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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