yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
