Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
