I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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