There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
