We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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