You're my little dorito
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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