girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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