"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
