you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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