if i can run in heels then i can drive
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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