Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
