How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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