..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
