babies were throwing up all over the place
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
