I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
