i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
