woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
