Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
