party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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