she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
