OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
