Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
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Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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