i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
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He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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