umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
