I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
