Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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