Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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