I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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