so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
