through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
