I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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