chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
