at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
