Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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