I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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